“Will you be my bridesmaid?”
As a gal lucky enough to have been asked by many, many friends to stand by their side on their big day, I am going to let you in on a dirty little secret. While we will squeal with delight and shed happy tears about how beautiful of a bride you will be, there will inevitably be a bit of a selfish thought that pops into our heads…what about us? What will WE be wearing?
I’m going to provide some insight on the garment that is often joked about, sometimes cried about, and (sorry to tell you) probably never worn again: the infamous bridesmaid dress. Here are a few tips and tricks to having happy, confident bridesmaids on your big day.
- Know what you want. Although you may feel like it’s a nice, laid back bride sort of thing to do, giving your bridesmaids full reign to choose whatever they like may in fact be counterproductive, and especially frustrating for them if they pick things you don’t really like, only to be told no. It’s great if you can at least have a general idea of what you want while still being flexible on the details. I highly recommend browsing Pinterest for pictures of full wedding parties to get an idea of what speaks to you. Some of the decisions you may want to make before shopping would be:
- Do you like the look of long dresses or short?
- How formal will the wedding be? The bridesmaid dresses should be at least as formal as the attire of your guests, if not more so.
- Do you like the symmetry of having everyone in the same exact dress, or do you like a little bit of variation such as shades of blush and nudes?
- Would you prefer your Maid of Honor to wear something different to set her apart? If so, how different?
- Do you like the look of long dresses or short?
- Consider the size, ages, and personalities of your bridesmaids. Everyone has a different body type and a different comfort zone, and although you may fall in love with a particular style of dress, putting it on the wrong person could have a disastrous effect. Some factors to think about:
- Fabric: some of the more forgiving fabrics include chiffon, georgette, or voile; while a pure satin dress will show every bump, lump, and supportive undergarment underneath.
- Silhouette: If you want everyone in the same dress, look for universally flattering components such as ruching and diagonal lines. An A-line or a fit-and-flare silhouette will look great on just about everyone as well.
- Style: If your wedding party is comprised of multiple body types and/or ages, choosing one color and fabric but letting each bridesmaid choose the particular style that makes them feel most confident is a great way to compromise.
- Fabric: some of the more forgiving fabrics include chiffon, georgette, or voile; while a pure satin dress will show every bump, lump, and supportive undergarment underneath.
- Give them your undivided attention. Although their dresses won’t compare to your dress (aka THE dress), remember that it’s still very important to them and allow them to obsess over it a little bit.
- Don’t combine your dress shopping with theirs or surprise them when they are shopping with you for your gown by having them try on dresses ‘just for fun’. It can be a stressful experience, and you should have your bridal gown attention all to yourself!
- Rather than bringing all your girls to the shop with you, try having a date with each one individually where you can shop and catch up with what’s going on in their lives too. Even though you know your whole wedding party, they may not know everyone that well. Having to try on ill-fitting sample sizes in front of a group of strangers can be an absolute nightmare for a lot of women.
- Don’t combine your dress shopping with theirs or surprise them when they are shopping with you for your gown by having them try on dresses ‘just for fun’. It can be a stressful experience, and you should have your bridal gown attention all to yourself!
- Climate and setting. Obviously, you can’t predict the weather, but you should have a general idea of the temperature fluctuations in the area during the month of your wedding. Long-sleeved lace gowns might look beautiful on the rack but would not be appropriate for a summer wedding in Georgia. Similarly, a pastel pink dress in a fall setting may clash with the foliage.
- Be mindful of costs. We get it…bridesmaid dresses aren’t cheap, and agreeing to being in a wedding involves some sort of financial commitment. In fact, finding anything under $100 is nothing short of a miracle! It’s important to be realistic but also sensitive to individual financial situations. If there is a $450 dress you love but you can find a similar dress for $160, make the change! Trust me, they’ll be singing your praises and your guests will never know the difference.
- Allow them to walk. Your bridesmaids will be running around all day for you (and then dancing the night away), so one of the kindest things you can do for them is allow them to wear shoes they are comfortable in. Although some may be comfortable in a 3-inch stiletto, chances are you will see a pile of these shoes next to the dance floor. Plus, have you ever seen someone who is not used to wearing heels try and navigate a grass aisle with over a hundred strangers looking at them? (I have…it’s not pretty.) Let them know the color shoe you want them to wear as well as any particular styles you wouldn’t want (like sneakers or flip flops) and trust that they will find something appropriate.
Finally, don’t worry if they will wear them again…they probably won’t, and that’s ok. You can take this off your list of worries, because at the end of the day, the most beautiful thing your bridesmaids can wear are giant smiles. Having you look out for their comfort, and providing them with a day to look their best, is the best way to make this happen.
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